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- The Importance of Family in Colombia when Dating Colombianas
If you are thinking of going to Colombia to date the women here, you have to understand the importance of family in Colombia.
Because any serious woman is going to introduce you to her family and expect you to be part of it
A nice woman who can be a good wife and mother of your kids
Someone who you can be with and who loves you and cares for you
As a result, plenty of men have gone to Colombia looking for someone to be their partner in life
However, as illustrated before on this website, not all women in Colombia (or elsewhere) are suited for being a good wife and mother of your kids
For example, there are some who are just using you and don’t want to introduce you to their family
Others just want your money or to be taken to the US to live there
So the bigger question is….
How do you know if the woman you are seeing would be a good quality wife and mother of your kids?
Well, that’s a heavy question and you could write entire books on that subject
As some men have
Therefore, this is just one of the articles dedicated to this topic to help all of you better understand what you need to look for to find a high quality woman for a stable marriage and raising a family.
In order to understand if the woman you are with is a high quality woman, one of the things you need to focus on is understanding her family.
For Colombian women place a lot of importance on family in Colombia
Now, anywhere in the world, family of your partner is always important
In fact, issues with in-laws is one of the major causes of divorce in the US
However, the importance of family in Colombia is much bigger
The reason for that is because families are simply much more intact in Latin America. Families tend to support each other much more. They tend to be much more close together and will allow other family members to enter into their personal spaces much more frequently.
How so?
For example, I once met a Colombian guy many years ago named Julio. He was just a normal bus driver in the city of Bucaramanga.
He was a little bit older than I was and had a wife and 4 kids.
And where were he and his family living?
In his parents’ home.
Now, I never saw their home but I always assumed it must have obviously been a very big place
But how many married couples are bringing in their 4 kids to go live in the home of their parents?
In all honesty, not too many I imagine.
In another example…
I knew a guy once who got married to a Colombian chick from Santa Marta. They were a good couple and are still married today.
They moved back to the US because his job opportunities were much better in the US near Indianapolis.
Well, like a lot of girls down here in Colombia, his wife wanted to support her parents.
Now her parents were not sick. They had their own jobs. They were completely financially stable and absolutely did not need any money whatsoever from what I was told.
That did not matter whatsoever.
In her mind, she wanted to send monthly payments of around 200 to 300 USD because her parents had been so helpful in raising her to be a good person.
Now not all Colombian women and Latin American women do that kind of thing
But it’s not completely uncommon from what I have seen among some women who just want to throw back some money to the family and be nice that way.
Now ready for a worse story?
Just last year, I met a Canadian guy living down here in Colombia in Bogota.
His long term girlfriend was originally from Cartagena and the girl had no problems herself.
However, her dad had some very abusive problems. As mentioned before, families here are very important.
From everything I heard from the guy, he had to send money from his own salary to the dad of this chick.
Apparently the mom already died of cancer and the dad was an alcoholic who started drinking quite a bit after that happened.
And he needed money.
So the dad started saying to her that she owes him money because he raised her well and supported her throughout her life. And he really needs help financially to help pay the bills and for food.
Well, she felt bad for her own father but didn’t have any real money herself. She was just working at one of those smallrestaurants you see in Colombia that are more simple and don’t have a lot of customers.
So she tried sending what she could but it honestly wasn’t anything.
Therefore, she had her boyfriend sending some money since he was making some good money online. And this went one for several months because he loved her and they had been together for several years.
And how this was just a thing the dad was going through and it would end sometime when he gets help….
But he didn’t get help and the money requests continued.
So sadly the guy ended the relationship with the girl because they had serious financial arguments about the money being sent and how he already helps a lot.
For the girlfriend, she just didn’t have the backbone to say no to her dad and try to get the guy genuine help. And the family problems contributed to the end of their relationship.
In short, families here in Colombia are a bit more important and intact most of the time than in the US. And they can be more involved in your life than you think.
I have heard for example cases of guys being married to a chick for some time and then the parents of the chick get sick and can’t work or they just want to retire.
And they literally move into the house of the couple. Because the wife insists on it and it’s not as common really to sendparents to a nursing home.
Maybe some get sent to a nursing home down here but I have literally never seen it. And it’s just not as common. It’s much more common for the parents to either have enough money to support their own retirement or move in with you.
So again…
you really need to pay close attention to her family.
Her family is going to have a big impact on your overall relationship and marriage in the future.
As there is a lot of importance of family in Colombia
You need to set standards with her about what you are willing to accept and boundaries as well. Meanwhile, you need to understand what things she considers normal in terms of relationship between her parents and you.
And just have a big conversation about all of this
Finally…..
The Relationship of Her Parents Impacts Her
It’s also important to consider the relationship her parents have had with her and with each other.
Like anywhere else in the world, some women don’t have a strong father in their life. Maybe the father disappeared entirely.
Among the girls I have known who have had a dad who either was not in the picture entirely or was just a piece of furniture in the home….
They almost always have some level of disrespect for men in my experience. They usually are not worth the trouble.
Either because she assumes all men are like that and leave the woman…
Or they see how the wife treats the dad as just a ATM machine that pays for everything but shows no real respect for the dad of the family
And she assumes that is normal and perhaps treats men that way herself.
In a way, there are very similar things between women in Colombia and other countries
As some of you may have seen this in women in other countries as well.
So the overall point to be made here?
Always remember the importance of family in Colombia
When you are first introduced to her family, make sure to set a good first impression dressing nicely with decent shoes or a nice shirt such as this one
Check the family of the girl you are thinking of being in a relationship with.
Set the boundaries and expectations for what kind of relationship you want.
And if the family is bad or had a bad influence on her, the relationship with her is likely to be bad as well.
Hope that helps. Thanks.
Hasta luego parceros,
Seth
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