15 Lessons about Serious Relationships in Colombia

After being here in Colombia now for over a decade…

I’ve met plenty of cute Colombian chicks on dates down here in a good deal of the cities in this South American country.

Most of them were hookups.

Maybe 99% of them most likely were hookups.

But a rare 1% were serious relationships.

My very first serious relationship was when I was in Barranquilla way back when I was studying in Colombia.

Among other girls I have gotten into a serious relationship with.

Including the last one I was with for a few years in Bogota.

Unfortunately, that one didn’t work out and you can read more about it here.

But over the years of being in different relationships, there are certain lessons I have learned.

And many of them are probably applicable to serious relationships in other countries.

And others are just quite obvious….

So if you are interested in some general lessons that I took from dating Colombian chicks in serious relationships..

Then check them out below.

Lesson 1: Linguistic & Cultural Complications

The first lesson is about language complications that you may have with any Colombian partner.

This is especially true if your Spanish is terrible and she has basically no English.

How do you think a serious relationship is going to work well?

You two will have a lot of difficulties understanding each other.

And even though when my Spanish was shit over a decade ago, it didn’t stop me from dating chicks down here.

But it did make it harder.

And even when it got good…

Well, you can still have misunderstandings based on differences in culture…

And perhaps misunderstandings of a specific word that you didn’t pick up well or misheard.

Which is more likely if Spanish is your second language and you are good at it even.

Lesson 2: Religious Issues

Another issue that could come up in serious relationships in Colombia is related to religious differences.

I am not religious at all and plenty of Colombians are Catholic.

Now keep in mind that the younger generation is a lot less religious than the older one from what I have seen.

Similar to the US.

But if you try marrying a Colombian chick, you might encounter religious differences between yourself and her parents or grandparents.

Which could cause complications if they are not open minded about different beliefs.

This is especially true among families who come from more rural backgrounds or poorer backgrounds from what I have noticed.

Lesson 3: The Issue of Long Distance Relationships

As I wrote about in this article here…

I was once in a long distance relationship in Colombia.

However, it didn’t work out very well.

I learned from that experience that long distance relationships can be quite difficult obviously.

And if you live in the US and you are only going to be making occasional trips to Colombia…

Then you might end up in a long distance relationship with a Colombian chick.

You can read that article I cited above to read the main lessons I had on long distance relationships.

But some of the tips I’d provide here include stuff like…

Have an end goal in mind with her regarding when you two will have a normal relationship and not a long distance one.

Maybe plan trips to see each other for small periods of time during the long distance relationship.

Learn to have trust.

Do not make the waiting period for when the long distance relationship will end too long. Nothing more than a year ideally.

Make plans for how to communicate with each other and when on a daily basis.

Maybe do things with each other online like watch a movie online together or whatever so you two can interact still.

Just some simple ideas.

Lesson 4: Agreement on Kids?

This was one of the issues that ended my last serious relationship in Bogota.

Where I didn’t want kids and she wanted 3 kids in the future.

And in my opinion…

If you two are different on this issue…

Then I don’t see where the compromise can be.

Maybe you can find some compromise but I think it would be very difficult.

You either have kids or you don’t.

And there are other issues that are similar to this..

If you two are not compatible on the crucial issues…

Like how many kids…

How to raise them…

Family finances…

Then you two will have a rough time in my opinion.

This is true for relationships anywhere by the way…

Lesson 5: If the Gap is Too Big…

If there is too big of a gap between you two…

In terms of education, wealth or age…

Then you are going to have a rough time maintaining the relationship forever in my opinion.

Granted, I am not old and only in my 30s…

So the age gap issue isn’t something I have experienced.

But I do believe if you are 60 and she is 20 for example…

Could it work?

I guess…

But that doesn’t seem like real love to me.

Or it doesn’t seem likely to be.

Most likely the guy wants a hot piece of ass and she wants money.

Which there is nothing wrong with that…

But why turn that into a serious relationship?

Just my opinion…

Because even though age gaps are more tolerated in Colombia…

You also have to be realistic.

As I wrote more about here…

And same can be said about wealth and education gaps in my opinion…

I’ve often found it much harder to relate to chicks who are either dirt poor and/or do not have anything more than a high school education…

Now some barrio chicks might be fun to fuck…

But are harder to relate to and have a relationship with.

So just keep that in mind in my opinion.

Lesson 6: Setting Expectations on Finances

There are two issues here on expectations regarding finances.

First, some Colombian chicks will expect you to send money to their parents if you two are married.

To send some of the household income to them….

Even if they don’t need it.

And the parents themselves might even go for your gringo ass for some money also.

Because some see a gringo and go “oh si si, dinerrrooooo!!!!”

With big money signs in their eyes.

In my experience, it is almost always the families that come from rural or poor urban neighborhoods who do this.

The ones who come from at least middle class to upper middle class families do not usually behave this way or have these expectations.

At the very least, it is less common among the middle class ones…

And basically is very unlikely to happen among richer ones as you can expect.

The second issue is her expectations regarding what you two should spend as a household if you two get married.

Maybe she sees you as a gringo who has endless pockets…

And wants to spend lots of your money while you want to be minimalist..

Differences over finances can easily cause divorce.

And this type of relationship can get you abused financially by her.

My advice?

Avoid relationships with chicks who have high expectations on lifestyle.

Who are very consumerist or materialist.

There is no winning with them.

Fuck them in bed but never give them a relationship.

Only chicks who are in line with you on financial goals, lifestyle, etc..

And ideally come from a middle class background or above so it will be less likely you encounter the first issue mentioned.

Lesson 7: Careful on Barrio Chicks & Gringo Hunters

These are two types of chicks you want to avoid.

Check this article I wrote here explaining barrio chicks.

And this one here where I go into gringo hunters briefly…

But to explain it briefly here also…

Barrio chicks are basically chicks who come from bad neighborhoods and who have no aspirations in life.

Stereotypically, they have kids with different dudes who don’t stick around and are looking for other dudes to help pay for them.

Send money or wife them up perhaps.

They are often uneducated, no money and will see you eventually as a paycheck.

Gringo hunters are chicks who have a big obsession with dating and having sex with gringos.

For whatever reason.

Maybe they want money.

Maybe they just want the gringo dick.

They often have a fetish with the culture from the US, Canada, England, etc..

And have a strong preference for white men in general usually (though not always).

They often come across as weird as sometimes they will come across like they are fetishizing you for where you come from or your skin color.

Both chicks tend to not be high quality for relationships in my opinion.

Lesson 8: Most Do Not Want to Leave Colombia

One issue some gringos might find among Colombian chicks is that they will find some do not want to leave Colombia.

But the gringo in question doesn’t want to move to Colombia long term for the rest of his life…

In fact, I’d say most chicks don’t want to leave Colombia for various reasons.

Like she doesn’t want to learn English and doesn’t want to leave behind her family, friends, culture, etc.

You can read more about the reasons why Colombian chicks don’t want to leave Colombia here…

And also this article I wrote on things you should keep in mind for chicks that do want to leave Colombia and if they’d be ready.

And just keep in mind that this could be an issue if you seek a relationship with a Colombian woman.

You might need to be prepared to live in Colombia long term or find a chick who would leave.

Some would. Many would prefer not to.

Lesson 9: Bigger Rush to Marriage

You will notice that Colombian chicks are much more likely to want to take things quicker to marriage and kids than American women.

This is a generalization but generally true.

Chicks in Colombia are generally more interested in marriage and kids.

But it also depends on her background.

Chicks who come from more educated or richer backgrounds tend to want to take things a little bit slower..

And chicks who come from Bogota specifically also seem interested in taking things a little bit slower.

Whereas chicks from other cities like Pasto would likely be more interested in getting married quicker.

Again, these are all generalizations that I have noticed to be mostly true for a lot of chicks I have met.

Lesson 10: You Are the Alien from Mars…

In my experience, some families you encounter down here will look at you funny when you meet them…

Say you are in a new relationship…

And you meet her parents for the first time…

I remember one of my ex girlfriends from Barranquilla..

Where I met her parents for the first time.

And her mom looked at me with the widest eyes possible at all moments in their house.

Not in a mean or hostile way…

Just a “wow, a gringo! They exist?!” type of way.

Then I had another relationship I remember…

Where I traveled to this small town to meet the parents of an ex girlfriend..

And her mom also looked at me in a funny way…

This time slightly more suspicious way..

In a “who is this strange foreigner with a funny accent? Suspicious, he is…”

Though her dad was cool…

But that type of “outsiders are suspicious” attitude is more common among small town folk in Colombia.

Especially if you are from another country with a funny accent.

It won’t likely be a big issue in the relationship..

But just keep it in mind that her parents might react funny to a foreigner.

And similar to other lessons here..

Generally speaking, the poorer or more rural the family, the more likely you will be the alien in the family.

Just my experience.

Lesson 11: Body Hair

This is a funny issue that is not really all that important in the grand scheme of things..

But one lesson you will learn about being in a serious relationship with a Colombian chick…

Is that a certain percentage of them really prefer dudes with no body hair.

Like shaving the hair on your legs for example.

I remember having a girlfriend in Colombia once who asked me if I could shave my body hair.

And I have heard other gringos talk about hearing this request also.

My suggestion?

Don’t shave it if you don’t want to.

I like my body hair and like the look it has on me.

Looks more masculine overall and I don’t feel like changing it.

We didn’t have any issue though over it.

She accepted my belief and that was it.

So keep in mind this small topic that might come up if you decide to date a Colombian chick in a serious relationship.

Some will have issue. Others won’t of course.

Lesson 12: Traditional & Conservative?

Are Colombian women traditional and conservative?

In a way, yes.

And in another way, no.

Compared to American women?

Absolutely.

They will cook for you more and follow gender norms a lot better than American chicks for sure.

And there are areas of Colombia where the chicks are a little bit more sexually conservative than others.

But don’t be naïve and think all the women here are like that.

Generally speaking, the more educated she is and the better her background is financially..

The less traditionally feminine she will be in my experience.

That’s a generalization but one I found some truth in.

And chicks from bigger cities like Bogota or Medellin are less conservative and traditional…

But you can find chicks like that in those places also…

While also finding less traditional or conservative chicks in small towns also..

Just because they are from a poor small town doesn’t mean they will be traditional or conservative always.

It’s a generalization to a degree so don’t be naïve with any individual chick in my opinion.

She might not be necessarily what you are looking for just because she is Colombian…

Lesson 13: Great way for Exploration

Talking here about all the challenges that come with serious relationships in Colombia…

Let’s talk real quick about a benefit.

Just to keep things positive.

If you get into a serious relationship with a Colombian woman, there are two major benefits I can think of.

First, your Spanish will get much better in my experience.

My Spanish skyrocketed during my first serious relationship in Colombia back in Barranquilla over a decade ago…

Second, you are likely to be shown around to parts of Colombia you wouldn’t go to necessarily.

Maybe to a small town or village where she has family.

And to me, that’s cool to check out areas of Colombia or Latin America that most don’t get to see.

They might be simple areas that are not touristy…

But they do offer a look into society that few foreigners get to witness.

To meet people there you wouldn’t otherwise.

And more.

Lesson 14: If You Hooked Up A lot…

For those dudes out there who have been banging away at lots of different chicks…

Be it Colombian chicks or whatever nationality..

Keep in mind that Colombian chicks tend to be a little more jealous than other nationalities..

But most chicks regardless of nationality will be more suspicious of you and if you could be faithful if you have slept around a lot.

At least in my experience anyway…

If the chick in question is looking for a serious relationship…

And you were sleeping around before her..

She is likely to be unsure about your ability to be faithful to her in a relationship..

Having said that, it doesn’t seem to stop them from entering into a serious relationship with me.

Never has.

And to a degree, they do seem to usually have a certain curiosity about it when I tell them.

The way to handle this?

Don’t lie. Just be honest about your past and own up to it.

Don’t act to her either like it was bad that you slept around before her.

Man up and own up to it.

And in my experience, that suspicion they have about your fidelity goes away after a month or two in the relationship.

This is another piece of advice that I think is applicable to women from most countries.

Lesson 15: It’s Harder than Hooking Up

On the topic of hooking up…

This is another piece of advice that I think is applicable to dating women and serious relationships anywhere…

Which is that maintaining a serious relationship is a lot harder than hooking up with random chicks in Colombia.

Hooking up a lot really isn’t all that impressive in my opinion.

I talk about it a lot on here because this website is focused on dating Colombian chicks.

But it really isn’t hard to hookup with Colombian chicks.

As long as you are not below average as a man…

And have the time to date lots of women..

While speaking at least conversational Spanish…

And your social skills aren’t shit…

Then you should be able to get laid easy enough at a frequent enough pace..

But to maintain a serious relationship in Colombia?

It’s not terribly difficult but it is more work than hooking up for sure.

Because it involves a lot more maturity obviously to handle a relationship with another person long term.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, these are the main lessons I can think of based on my years of dating Colombian chicks.

In the future, I might add more to this article if more lessons come to mind or as I gain more experience going forward in the future dating Colombian chicks.

Of course, there are plenty of cultural differences between Colombian chicks and foreign dudes.

As briefly mentioned in the first lesson.

In the future, that could be another topic all by itself..

But if you have any experiences yourself with Colombian women or the cultural differences…

Or if you have any questions on this topic…

Let me know below in the comment section or send me an email.

I usually try to respond whenever I have the free time and assuming I have an answer…

And thanks for reading and take care!

Hasta luego parceros,

Seth

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