About last year, I met a dude from Canada that was traveling around and spending some time in Colombia.
We met in Bogota as that is where I live as of right now and we got talking about the women in Colombia while having a few beers at a bar.
He said that he had met the right woman for him!
That for many years he had been a bachelor and never really quite interested in settling down…
But a few months ago he met this chick at a café and they got to know each other a bit more since then during his time in Colombia.
As time went on, he grew feelings for her and they went on more dates…
But they were never official or anything.
However, one night after having sex, she went to the bathroom while he laid in bed resting.
When he noticed that her phone got an update from Tinder.
It seemed like she was still using Tinder since she still had it in her phone and she just got a notification for getting a match.
Now from what he told me – he didn’t check the match she got nor did he bring it up to her.
After all, they are not technically a couple or anything serious.
But given the time they had spent together and the feelings he had gotten for her so far…
He told me how he couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed that she was using Tinder while they had spent a few months together already.
He was thinking – based on their interactions – that they were basically serious but not technically yet.
But basically there.
Well, seeing that she still used Tinder made him doubt it.
Now granted, I told the guy that maybe she never got around to deleting her Tinder and was simply getting matches from guys she swiped on a long time ago.
I remember a long time ago that I was in a relationship with a different Colombian chick but eventually ended that relationship.
When I did so, I opened up Tinder again and found I had a bunch of matches that I didn’t know about since Tinder had been deleted.
So it is technically possible that she is a bit more innocent here.
Either way, the guy just had that gut feeling that maybe she was playing around with multiple men and they weren’t as serious as he had hoped.
And to be fair – I believe also that you should listen to those gut feelings. Often they have some element of truth to them and it can be foolish to ignore them completely.
But all of this brings up a certain question – what should you do if your Colombian girl is having sex with other men?
This could mean that you two are not serious yet and she is still playing around with various dudes or maybe she even has a boyfriend or husband!
Obviously, if you two are serious, then you should break up with her right away if you find her cheating.
That’s not really the topic here since that’s obvious and I never advocate forgiving a cheater or giving a second chance.
But what if you two are not serious yet?
Well, there are different things to factor.
For example, are you interested in having something serious with her or do you want to stay casual?
Is she a barrio chick with some boyfriend that is dangerous?
Or is she just some chick who has a normal boyfriend or husband that wouldn’t do anything to you?
Among so many other things to consider…
So let’s break down some of the things to consider and also some tips for finding out if she is playing the field still with other dudes or has a serious man in her life.
This is likely the first issue a lot of foreign men would think of when messing around with a Colombian chick that has a boyfriend or husband.
A lot of folks tend to think of Colombian men as these dangerous dudes that you will fuck you up if you mess with their girl.
In reality, Colombian dudes are not really like that.
Some for sure will fuck with you.
However, most won’t.
First, quite a few will direct their anger or sadness at the chick instead and leave it at that.
Second, if you are not in Colombia long term, who cares? Nobody will likely touch you anyway. Because if you leave before someone were to try to find you, then no problem.
Third, some Colombian men understand infidelity is high in their country and just go with it. If they find their chick cheating, they will dump and find someone else to be with. Oddly enough, it’s not as big of a surprise to some and so some just don’t take it as personally as you would imagine. But just some anyway.
Fourth, not every Colombian dude is some badass with a bunch of guns ready to fuck others up. Most are just normal folks without weapons and going about their lives working a job they don’t like to pay rent like anyone else. Not really the most scary individuals that you imagine.
But for sure – some Colombian dudes might try to fuck with you if you mess with their chick. As always, some dudes who get caught in that (foreign or Colombian) can get killed for doing that or beat up.
However, in all honesty, it probably just won’t happen.
In my experience from messing with other chicks that had dudes or from knowing other dudes who have done the same, almost none of them or me have ever heard a word from the boyfriend or husband. Statistically, it doesn’t seem likely from what I have seen.
Some dudes don’t like messing with certain chicks out of fear they might catch feelings for them.
You know – have sex, go on dates and eventually get feelings and all of that.
For me personally, I tend to do a good job of separating chicks from my personal and emotional self.
It’s similar to having a house and keeping the chicks you hookup with out on the front lawn. Most of them stay there. Rarely will one come inside to meet you more.
Or in other words, rarely will one become a serious girlfriend that I grow feelings for.
It makes things much easier when you approach women in that way.
Because then you avoid the issue that the guy in the story above faced – growing feelings for a chick who simply hasn’t earned your love and doesn’t seem like the type of chick to be serious with you.
And if you do that, you can enjoy to play the field without growing feelings for any chick that isn’t worth it.
So if you reach that point – then who cares if she plays around with other dudes?
You don’t have feelings for her because you didn’t let her in the house – into your personal self where you can grow feelings for her.
And with that, you don’t have any unrealistic expectations for her – like turning a chick who wants to play around with other dudes into a girlfriend.
In which then you don’t encounter the issue the dude above in the story encountered.
So it doesn’t matter if she plays around then with other dudes. If she does, cool. No issue. No worries.
And if she doesn’t – well, maybe she can earn her way into the house so to speak but that depends on you and on how things go.
But ultimately all of this depends on what you want personally out of your interaction with her and how well you control her from entering the house until she has earned it so to speak.
But let’s say you did grow feelings for a chick that is obviously playing around with other dudes and would not be serious with you…
Well, in my opinion, better to cut the chick out of your life.
Yes, you could keep banging her on the side while you play with other chicks.
But the issue is that you grew feelings for her. Can you get rid of those feelings?
From what I have seen, that is easier said than done.
So if too difficult, you will find yourself hanging out and sleeping with a person that you want more from while knowing it wouldn’t work and might not even reach a point of being serious.
Which can cause disappointment, sadness, unrealistic expectations, etc.
All of which can mess with you mentally to some degree.
So in my belief, you should cut a chick out if you have feelings for her but it is clear that she isn’t going to be serious.
No more messing around – just cut her loose and move on.
This is another issue you will have to encounter when dealing with chicks that have boyfriends or husbands.
And honestly is a much bigger issue than the first one about the danger of it.
So then is it ethical to be banging some chick that has a boyfriend or husband?
Well, obviously not.
If doing something like this is something that you can be fine with doing – then no problem.
If not, then don’t do it obviously.
In my opinion, a chick who is going to sleep with me will most likely have slept or will sleep with other dudes eventually.
A good deal of the time they simply don’t seem satisfied with the man in their life and make themselves available to other dudes.
Or they might be the type of chick that would sleep around anyway regardless of the dude they are formally with.
And in my experience, they almost always fall in either camp. So a chick like this that is open to you is most likely open to other dudes too or will be.
So you might as well enjoy the fun while it is there.
The reality is that a lot of Colombian women play the field and cheat on their men or simply have multiple casual dudes in their life.
They say Colombia is a Catholic country but that religion sure doesn’t seem to stop the hooking up and infidelity that is rampant in this country.
And so with that said, if you are going to mess around in Colombia, there is a great chance that you are going to eventually end up banging a chick that has a serious dude in her life.
Even if you are against doing that ethically….
If you have a lot of dating success down here with multiple women, I can almost guarantee you will eventually bang a Colombian chick that is taken.
And why is that?
Because cheating is so common down here (more so in some parts than others of Colombia) and that most chicks won’t tell you they have a boyfriend or husband.
It’s something that most likely you would stumble upon accidently.
But let’s say you would like to know ahead of time if she has a boyfriend or husband or is playing the field with multiple casual men….
How would you do that?
Well, let’s break down some hints.
Some chicks will honestly tell you if they got a guy in their life if you ask.
Or might even tell you as you are trying to have sex with her.
Granted, I’m not sure how many would be honest about it. I never asked too many of the chicks I hooked up with if they had a guy or not.
And most of the cases I encountered of a chick having a dude – I found out by accident without her telling me.
So it often seems most of them would rather not be honest about it. But I’m positive some of them would admit to if you asked.
Especially as some – just some – have been honest with me about it.
One time in Barranquilla many years ago, a chick I met was with me leaving a bar and I was taking her to a taxi.
Once inside my apartment, she is half naked with her tits out and we are about to have sex but she says that she has a boyfriend!
Well, that didn’t stop me and she was cool with having sex. She just felt the need to tell me then.
So some chicks will say stuff like that – and of course, maybe the statement about having a boyfriend was bullshit. Chicks do that occasionally.
But that wasn’t the only case of a chick saying she had one either by telling me or from me asking rarely.
So make sure to ask – sometimes they will be honest. Most won’t if they are looking to hookup and be discrete about it.
But it can give some away.
In my experience, “barrio chicks” are much more likely to cheat than other types of chicks I have met in Colombia.
If you want more info on them, read this article I wrote here.
But basically these are chicks that come from low income neighborhoods that usually have higher rates of poverty and crime. These chicks tend to not have many aspirations in life.
Their lifestyle might involve staying with the parents until they marry someday while not working or studying much (if at all).
Often they have a few kids early enough and the dudes who got them pregnant are not as likely to stick around always.
Once pregnant, they tend to look for a job perhaps or maybe rely on multiple dudes (local and foreign) to provide some assistance while staying at home.
Either way, these chicks just simply play the field much more often than Colombian chicks of other backgrounds from what I have noticed.
Not saying all of them are like this – it’s a simple generalization that has a lot of truth to it. If the chick you are with is a barrio chick, simply be more alert about her.
She might end up being a more serious chick but a lot of them are not like that.
If some Colombian chick is looking to mess around while having a more serious dude in her life, it’s more common for them to want to avoid being seen with other dudes in public.
For that reason, they are less likely to be comfortable hanging around with you in public outside if she is from the city you meet her in.
While they might spend some time outside in public with you or even a notable amount of time…
More of them from what I have seen will be interested in just going straight to your place and leave the public venue you two are at…
Or just show up directly to where you live.
This is all to avoid the possibility of her boyfriend, husband or someone she knows seeing her messing around with another dude in public.
Now keep in mind that some of these chicks will play around with dudes from other cities.
So let’s say you are in Colombia and you meet a chick online that lives in Santa Marta while you live in Barranquilla.
It’s not unusual for this chick to be looking for some side fun with a dude in another city where there will be a lot less people (if anyone) that knows her.
And where her boyfriend or husband won’t be also.
In this case where a cheating chick is traveling to see you, they are usually a bit more comfortable to spend even more time outside in public with you.
Because the risk is low.
So if the chick you are dealing with is uncomfortable being outside with you and seems to be pressuring you to go back to your place…
Or she only wants to meet in your city and she lives somewhere else…
Those tend to be more positive signs (no guarantee) of a chick who has a dude in her life.
Similar to the barrio chick, this is another demographic that I have seen more likely to cheat.
This is a type of chick that really emphasized climbing the career ladder in her early life and often (not always) sleeps around when younger.
Then when she is closer to 30, she feels more pressure to settle down and usually with some dude that maybe isn’t the most exciting guy in the world or someone that turns her on.
It might even be a dude that even makes noticeably less money than her!
But regardless, these chicks tend to be more likely to cheat on their dudes – either locally or when taking a trip to another city or country.
Again, not all are like that but this is a demographic that I have noticed that simply has more cheating going on in my experience.
While a lot of people criticize social media these days, it does come with some advantages…
Notably, it makes it easier to notice if a chick has other dudes in her life.
First, you have Whatsapp.
Whatsapp is an app you can download into your phone that allows for free texting and calls. Most Colombians use it and you will likely use it also if you date down here.
With that said, Whatsapp can expose a chick that has other dudes in her life. Keep in mind that these chicks are not always smart or don’t always care that much if you find out they have a serious dude or not.
So her profile picture or any of her “stories” that she shares might have a picture of her with some other dudes. That can often give it away.
Second, when you add a chick’s phone number into your phone to contact her on Whatsapp, Facebook often suggests to you her as a friend.
So you can just check her Facebook out and see if she shares photos of other dudes or some serious boyfriend or husband in her life.
I remember one time I hooked up with a chick named Maria. A few hours after she left, I noticed that Facebook suggested her a friend to me.
When checking out her Facebook, she said “te amo” (I love you) to her husband that she had traveling around Spain at the time for whatever reason.
So social media can often be a great tool in finding out if she is playing the field or not or if she has a boyfriend or husband.
As said before, I don’t see as much issue with messing around with chicks that have a boyfriend or husband. I get the ethical issue to it and can understand why some men wouldn’t want to mess around with these chicks.
But they are going to most likely mess around with some other dude if it’s not you. Or both!
I never have tried to target specifically chicks that are taken – they have always made themselves available to me and shown a lot of interest.
Which just again shows that they are going to cheat anyway for whatever reason. You might as well enjoy it as it’s going to happen anyway.
Just make sure to keep your emotions separate from any chick you play around with – don’t let them into the house unless they show they are serious, have nobody else, that they seem compatible and everything else fits between you two.
That way you don’t mix your emotions with a chick that isn’t serious and one that you don’t have a future with anyway.
And can enjoy the life as a bachelor forever or until you find the right chick that has earned the right to be “let into the house” so to speak.
And with that – thanks for reading.
If you have any questions or insight of your own, let me know in the comments or send me an email.
Hasta luego parceros,
Seth
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