You sit down at a bar in Medellin with a hot Colombian woman that you hope to bang later that night
As you order some beers for both of you, she begins her interrogation of you
Squinting her eyes and holding a gun to your head, she yells
“You swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”
Sweating bullets over here, you go “si si!”
And perhaps not speaking Spanish very well, you didn’t understand what she said and are now confused about why she is so aggressive
She then looks at you and asks….
“Why are you here?”
“How many other women have you gone on dates with?”
“How long are you here for?”
“If you live here, what do you do for a living?”
Now to be fair, many of these are quite innocent questions
After all, just about any girl would ask some of them when going on a date with a foreigner
But the truth is that these questions are actually – depending on the girl – meant to get a better idea of what your intentions are
As written about in this article I wrote here, foreigners have a certain obstacle when it comes to dating Colombian women in Medellin and sometimes Cartagena
Which is that some of the women you encounter will be suspicious of your intentions and if you are basically just a sex tourist
Now keep in mind that this isn’t true in all of Colombia
In fact, in places like Cali, a woman asking these questions above probably is just trying to get to know you
And she especially is not likely to be thinking you are a potential sex tourist in places that are a lot less touristy like Pasto, Ibagué, Sincelejo, Neiva, Popayán, etc
So really – this isn’t something you should worry about in basically 99% of Colombia from my personal experience and from what others I have met have said
But to be fair – it’s quite likely you might spend some time in Medellin given that so many tourists and nomads go to live in that city
And chase sexy Colombian women as well!
So when in Medellin, keep in mind that her own intentions asking these type of questions might not be as innocent either
Though, to be fair, her intentions could be clean here and she might not be suspecting you of anything
But you are going to want to play it safe with dating Colombian women from Medellin especially
Because the reality is that this city has been so heavily hit over the last decade by horny foreigners looking to have sex with the local women
Since word got out that this city has some of the hottest women in Colombia and also are not too difficult
But because of all of this attraction over the years, so many Colombian women have seen the same thing
Where some foreign dude comes in, talks sweet to her, fucks her and leaves
And it’s not stopping anytime soon!
So how should you respond to these types of questions?
Well, the answer to that is similar to insight you can find in this similar article I wrote on the subject here
But to answer these specific questions, let’s break them down and you will catch a common theme here
First: “Why are you here?”
What not to say: “To sleep around with lots of Colombian women.”
Oddly enough, that just isn’t the type of response that she is probably hoping to hear.
Unless you want her to walk out of the date
However, you should answer the question about how you ideally have something tying you to the country
Something that ties you to the community and you are not just a tourist either
Now it’s fine to say that you are there for several months for tourism but that doesn’t make you seem as serious in her eyes
Though you can still progress with her even as a tourist, it simply helps to be seen as someone more serious and connected to the community
So say that you are living in Colombia because you like the culture, food, etc., or that you are studying or working there, etc.
Second: “How many other women have you gone on dates with?”
It’s best to just play it cool with this question. Don’t say obviously that you are having sex with the whole neighborhood but don’t lie either.
If you say that you haven’t met any other women, she is quite possibly likely to assume that you are lying.
Because she knows that you probably have decent value in the dating market in Colombia and should realistically be having chicks that would agree to go on a date with you
On top of that, Colombian men are known to mess around with lots of women like Dominican guys are also
So for her, it’s not as believable that a man wouldn’t mess around with different women
And since you two are not serious yet, she obviously isn’t entitled or wouldn’t expect you to not see other women on dates
So just play it cool and say casually that you’ve gone on other dates when you have the time and that’s it
That’s it. Don’t offer too much detail. If she asks follow up questions on it, offer minimal information and keep her wondering for more about it.
Third: “How long are you here for?”
Again, you want to be seen as a more serious option that is tied to the community ideally.
So say that you are not sure how long you are there for but for “quite a bit of time” since “you like living in Colombia and its culture a lot and that you have plenty of friends here.”
Simple.
Fourth: “If you live here, what do you do for a living?”
There isn’t much issue here what you say as long as it makes you seem serious and you are not just running through savings you have.
Say you have an online business or that you work locally
Or that you study locally in a university there
Whatever works and is closest to the truth so that you seem more serious to staying long term in Colombia
In the end, the goal here is to, as you guess it, make yourself seem more serious and long term to living in and being part of the local community.
Again, you could just as easily be the tourist and still get laid or meet nice women here but it will make things a little bit harder
Since you are now losing the chicks (most likely in Medellin) of suspecting you are just a sex tourist and leaving
So this is how you should address those questions above so that you can more easily avoid this issue while dating in Medellin
Or perhaps other parts of Colombia if this issue spreads to other regions or cities also
And if you want more advice on how to avoid the sex tourist stereotype, make sure to check out this article I wrote here on the subject
Final Thoughts
Do you have any experience with these types of questions or with dealing with Colombian women that are suspecting you of being a sex tourist?
If so, let everyone know in the comment section below or send me an email!
This is likely to be an issue that gets worse over the years as Colombia gets more attention and becomes even a safer country than it is now
And with more men coming down here for the women, this minor obstacle will become more prevalent even in cities outside of Medellin in places like Barranquilla for example
Though, to be fair, I don’t ever see it becoming an issue in cities that are especially not well known or visited
Places like Pasto or Sincelejo for example
Granted, it’s hard to predict the future but I know for a fact that there will always be cities in this country that simply will never have this problem of some women seeing foreigners as sex tourists
And based on what I know, I’d place my bets on a place like Sincelejo given its lack of offerings to future tourists
Regardless, it’s not that big of an issue in my opinion because it’s easy to get around
As I wrote about in this article here, there are ways to get around this issue – simply act like you are part of the community
That you have long term intentions in Colombia and are not visiting just for the women but that you have other legitimate reasons to be there
Doing all of that will get you around this minor issue of being seen as a sex tourist and around her questions easily enough
Which, in the end, will make it easier to get laid with Colombian women or find someone for something more serious
At any rate, thanks for reading and take care
Hasta luego parceros,
Seth
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