So many times others have asked me “how much Spanish do I really need for dating a Colombian woman?”
I mean, aren’t there some who speak English?
Well, yes, but as those who read my articles know…
I always recommend that you learn as much Spanish as possible to have success dating a Colombian woman
But for entertainment purposes, I remember one time in particular when I didn’t know much Spanish and I was on a date with a Colombian girl many years ago when I teaching English in Barranquilla
This was my very second year in Colombia
Back then, I was sitting at a bar among a group of friends while on a date with a Colombian girl
We weren’t seriously dating but we had been seeing each other for about a month
Anyway, at this table, there was another girl with us who was showing a lot of interest in me
And I wasn’t showing much back because I was there with someone else and just didn’t feel like talking with this chick
Which, for whatever reason, made her even more interested in me
And even more persistent in getting to know me
So I’m responding to what she is saying with small answers but not much
And the more uninterested that I am, the more aggressive she was in getting my attention is what I noticed in the moment
In the end, she had to leave early but really wanted to know me more
So she wrote on a piece of paper her phone number and complete name
Which I didn’t even ask for but here it was and I took it
Moving Forward By a Week
And I’m in a computer café planning a trip to Santa Marta
And I remember this chick and I still had that piece of paper in my wallet
So I took it out and figured that I might as well invite her out on a date
She was cute enough and maybe I could meet her for something casual before I go to Santa Marta
I didn’t call her because I didn’t have any minutes on my phone and didn’t like making calls back then
Because it was harder to understand Spanish over the phone for some reason and back then my Spanish was much worse
So I opened up my Facebook for probably the first time in a hundred years (given I never use it in real life)
And I looked her up on there with the name she gave me
Which her first name was Lizbeth
We talk a bit and I figured it would be easy to flirt a little more aggressively with her based on how interested she was in me
So we are flirting quite a bit and then I invite her out for a few drinks before my trip to Santa Marta
She agreed
So later that week on a Friday I took her out to first get some ice cream before we go to some nightclub that I had never been to before
I don’t remember which nightclub it was and my notes that I keep over the years don’t say which one it was
But I remember it was some dark place that had blasting music and was a little bit elegant inside with a nice look
But before we got there, we were eating ice cream at some shopping mall
And I remember that she was one of those individuals in Latin America that had what I call an impossible accent
You see, no matter how good your Spanish gets, there will always be somebody you can’t understand
In fact, just last week, I was walking down a street in Bogota and there was some homeless guy I saw that was yelling random stuff into the air at people who crossed by him
He yelled something at me but I saw him ahead of time as I was walking down this street
He must have been drugged or drunk or something
But regardless of how good my Spanish is now, I didn’t understand anything that came out of his mouth besides the occasional “puto” or “mierda”
So a bunch of profanity mixed in with random gibberish
This guy and this girl, Lizbeth, both had something similar
Which is that they had an “impossible accent”
Just the way they speak makes it very difficult to understand them no matter how good your Spanish is
Now granted, the guy I mentioned might have been drunk, but his accent and how he spoke was off also
Fortunately, these individuals are very rare but they come by maybe once a year into my life
Either as a cute curvy Colombian girl or some drunk homeless guy yelling profanities
They make themselves known in multiple ways I guess!
Well, being this girl was one of them, I didn’t understand 90% of what she said
So here I am trying to understand what she is saying and I got nothing
Except for the occasional random word like “gato” or “familia”
So how did I handle this situation?
How could I have a date with someone that I literally do not understand?
How could I possibly manage to get her into my bedroom without being able to talk well with her?
Well, fortunately for me, she was attracted to me enough physically….
And also quite an easy girl to get into the bedroom
But also I figured out something with her that I didn’t realize before
Which is that you can have a conversation with a Colombian woman and still have a successful date with her even if you don’t understand most of what she is saying
How could you do that?
Just fake it
…..”What?” you ask
Basically, all I did was just pretended that I knew what she was saying and that it was interesting
Fortunately for me, she was the type of woman that loved hearing herself speak
Just kept talking forever and ever and ever…
And I was cool with that given I couldn’t respond in a meaningful way to the conversation as I couldn’t understand most of what she said
So what I did do was just occasionally repeat a word she said in her sentences
So let’s say that she said “tengo 3 gatos en mi casa”
Which means “I got 3 cats in my home”
So I would just repeat one of the words I would manage to catch in that sentence but in a voice that made me seem interested in what she was saying
“tengo 3 gatos en mi casa”
“ohhh gatos, ok”
Sounds stupid to be honest
But it worked mostly because she never asked a single question to me and only wanted to hear herself talk
If she wanted a real conversation with real contribution from me to the conversation, this would not have worked
Imagine how bad it would have been if she asked questions!
Lizbeth: “Quieres tener sexo conmigo en mi casa?” (do you want to have sex with me in my house?”)
Me: “Casa? Ohhh, interesante!” (house? Ohhh, interesting!”)
And then she would have looked at me like I was stupid
But thankfully, it wasn’t like that
And thankfully on my part, the club we went to had very loud music
So I could stop pretending that I knew what she was saying
Things got more physical
Then she wanted me to go spend the night at her place
So going back to the original question….
Can you have any success down here without Spanish?
Well…..sure
But you have to find a chick who either speaks English (most don’t)
Or one who either cannot stop talking and only wants to talk herself, doesn’t realize that you can’t understand her and is also very attracted to you
Which, in the end, that’s a lot that you need right there for it to work out
Wouldn’t it just be better to learn Spanish already?
All you need is your Spanish to be at a conversational level with some experience actually speaking it for dating a Colombian woman
Nothing more is needed
Which, in the end, learning Spanish is similar to other crucial advice I have written in another article on this website regarding how to be successful with Colombian women….
You have to improve yourself
Main Lessons
- Technically it is possible to have success dating a Colombian woman here with no Spanish but it will always be easier and more enjoyable the better you speak it.
- If you don’t understand what she says, sometimes pretending might work as it did here.
- However, if the girl you are talking with is not entirely like Lizbeth in the story above, you should be asking her to repeat herself or speak more slowly if you are having difficulty understanding in most cases.
- No matter how good your Spanish gets, also remember that there are rare individuals down here who you will likely never understand because of how they speak and their accent.
- Sometimes the less interested you are in a woman, the more interested she becomes in you but that only works to a point. However, you have to give some interest back as having sex with her wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t reach out to her afterwards on Facebook
In the end, I hope this article might have provided a few laughs but also give some insight into dating a Colombian woman and some of the scenarios you might find yourself in.
And if you want to improve your Spanish so you are not in this situation, check out this recommended textbook and also this phrasebook for dating in Spanish.
Also, if you want sold good advice on how to learn Spanish before you show up to Colombia, read my article on the subject here.
Finally, here is the link to story 22.
If you have any questions or insight, let me know below in the comment section. Thanks and take care!
Hasta luego parceros,
Seth
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