What’s up everyone,
Having started this blog in April 2019, I created it with the intention of helping many other foreigners (mostly men though I hope it helps women too) find happiness in Colombia.
With, obviously, a strong emphasis on what the dating culture is like here.
Now for anyone who has paid attention to online dating advice, it is quite clear that offering dating advice is going to open you up to a lot of criticism.
Though if we are being honest, that criticism is only directed towards advice that is meant to help men. For some reason, the mainstream media and activists never seem to care about the abundance of life and dating advice offered to women.
So if women try to help each other, it’s female empowerment!
But if men try to do it, well, we are evil villains!
Obviously though, any such potential criticism has not scared me away from trying to give useful living and dating advice for those thinking of Colombia or Latin America more broadly.
In fact, when I started this blog, I was hoping I would get some negative feedback!
It’s almost like losing a cherry in a way. You can’t really claim your blog on international dating is legit if it doesn’t get some haters along the way.
Suffice to say, I was quite intrigued when I got my very first hate mail not too long ago!
Granted, I was sent this little piece of literature on December 22.
And by that time, I was back in Detroit celebrating the holidays with family and never really felt like getting around to this piece until now since I’ve been busy writing up content for another website I have called Sr. Gringo.
Which you can find it by clicking here – it is a upcoming website that will have plenty of content on living and dating in Latin America more broadly.
Anyway, I felt that I should at least give this email some special attention since it is the very first negative one I ever received.
I will format it by putting our names before each comment so you know which bits are from her email and which bits are my response.
And the author of this piece is a woman named Jenny M and my name is Seth obviously.
So after breaking open a bottle of champagne to celebrate my first hate mail, let’s get into it shall we?
Jenny: Hello, starting I am Colombian and I think your article is exaggerated, it would be interesting to clarify the city was the girl who hurt you
Seth: Nice to meet you Jenny! Unfortunately, I am not sure which article you are responding to since it seems you sent this to me as an email and didn’t comment on any specific article. Also, your remark about being “hurt” by a girl is pretty typical among chicks that try to shame guys who give advice on dating.
It could be a projection on your part if we were to take your speculation further. Perhaps a man had hurt you by not agreeing to give you commitment even after having sex together?
Of course, I have no reason to believe that but typically women who throw that remark are usually just trying a shame a guy out of giving dating advice and/or they are projecting.
Jenny: (Not all Colombians are same)
Seth: I absolutely agree! In fact, I have several articles like this one that either discuss some of the differences foreign men might find in Colombian women by different Colombian regions. I also have (as of this writing) about 25 different dating guides that look into the dating differences of Colombian women by 25 different cities.
As you might notice in my writing, I often make it very clear the distinctions that I have noticed among women from the various different cities and regions of Colombia. This observation that there are notable differences has also been made in other articles I wrote such as this one or in these guides here. Feel free to check them out!
Jenny: Your analysis is more of a woman from Medellín, you generalize a lot
Medellin
Seth: Interesting observation, Jenny. You might actually be making an inaccurate assumption about me that I must have spent most of my time in Medellin since that is one of the most popular Colombian cities for foreign men.
However, my time in Colombia extends well beyond Medellin. As implied before, I have spent time in numerous cities and even some towns in Colombia as you can read about in my guides or other articles.
Also, my very first city I ever lived in was Barranquilla and have so far spent considerable time in Bogota. In fact, I am not as experienced with Medellin as I am with a few other Colombian cities. I’d feel it’s also true that I am more comfortable in Cali than Medellin also.
All of this information is publicly available anyway if you took the time to actually read more than just one article on my website.
Jenny: And repeat everything Under deception and deception,
Seth: I do actually agree with you that I tend to repeat stuff on my website. After all, I have nearly 200 articles published on here at the time of my writing. My tendency to be a little bit repetitive at times is a downside to my writing unfortunately that I try to improve over time.
Jenny: The points are that if men stopped looking at the physical so much and really looked inside each girl they would not suffer like you!
Seth: Well, I definitely haven’t suffered for enjoying the beauty of Colombian women in public and in private. 😉 And I don’t know of any man that has. Moving on, there is nothing wrong with men looking to enjoy life with sexy women. This is often a point of hypocrisy that some women have they appreciate a good looking man but hate it when men appreciate a good looking woman.
Let’s be real for one second, Jenny. If you were approached by a man who is literally 3 foot tall, had a deformed face and was all around physically hideous to your tastes, would you date him? No. In the same way, just about all men would not date a woman for a serious relationship if there was no physical attraction. You can’t shame men out of having standards.
To do so would make you sound similar to the male incels out there that complain about women having standards. It’s simply part of the dating experience and something you have to be comfortable with and be mature about. So let’s not be uncomfortable with that fact. And deep down, I think you agree with me to a degree as you mention how men should look for the inside of a girl. In a way, I agree. But on the other hand, not entirely.
It really depends on what the man in question wants out of dating. If he just wants sex, then the personality of a woman really isn’t that important.
At least in my experience, the only time her personality would be important in that manner would be if she had a horrendous personality that made her unbearable to spend any time with.
In which case, I will just move on and find someone else. But most women are not terrible with their personality and so that is not really a factor to consider if I just want sex. And keep in mind there is nothing wrong with men or women pursuing only sexual experiences on the side while they focus on their own life. You can have a happy life as a bachelor or bachelorette with an active sex life on the side.
However, if you (as a man or a woman) are more interested in finding a serious relationship, then I would agree entirely that every man should be more mindful of her personality and compatibility.
In fact, Jenny, if you actually read more than one article on my website, you would know I agree with you! I have made similar remarks on the following articles at least here….
- Guide to Dating a Colombian Woman for a Relationship
- 15 Best Qualities in a Colombian Woman
- Meeting Your Colombian Girlfriend’s Family
And those are just a few….;)
Jenny: I bet your girl was operated, she was wearing a skirt and she was from Medellín, Pereira or Manizales!
The Sexy Operated Paisa Girl in a Skirt!
Seth: That depends on which girl! I’ve had a great time with plenty of Colombian women that were operated and enjoyed wearing skirts. Other women had more natural bodies and preferred pants or a dress.
Hell, many of them preferred being naked even (as long as it was in a private room coincidently enough).
Also, Jenny, you are showing again that you probably haven’t read any of my other articles because you are assuming that I have only spent time in Medellin or the Coffee Triangle. If you had read any other article, there is a great chance you would have discovered that is false. But I don’t hold anything against that region or Medellin either.
A sexy woman with an operated ass and tits in a mini skirt would sound wonderful to most men! Are you trying to advertise that region and entice more men to go there? It certainly might work if you describe the women of that region like that!
Jenny: Because sincerely, you Americans come here to look for wives and just want cute faces and bodies (100% plastic)
Seth: Well that depends on the American! Some prefer cute faces and very natural bodies. Also, not every American is coming here looking for a wife. Many just want to bang a bunch of chicks and go home. I guess those types ponder the following question: Why buy when you can rent?
Jenny: now it seems pathetic to me to go to agencies to look for wives in Colombia,
When a gringo marries his Colombian wife
Seth: I do not agree entirely because I have met guys who have come here looking for a wife through an agency and it has turned out alright for them! For me personally, I would recommend though to most men to just improve themselves if they want to be happier in life and also have more dating success.
I have written about that many times, including this entire article on the subject here. So while I don’t shame men who use agencies to find a wife and know some who have had success with it, I will always recommend to men that they will have more success by making themselves the best that they can be and engaging in the dating market without that special assistance.
And if you read any of my other articles, you would know that Jenny.
Jenny: I think you need to mature and know more about world!
Seth: Well, it’s possible I know more about the world since I have been to over 30 countries so far. But I will concede that learning never ends and there is certainly much more I will learn in life as I age. As will you. 😉
Jenny: Don’t be If you have this page, you should remove all that crap about Colombian things!
But I love Colombia!
Seth: Everything?! Even this awesome article on some amazing Colombian bands or this one on jazz music in Colombia?
I don’t believe those articles would make you feel insecure about your own dating prospects since they don’t teach men how to have dating standards or how to improve themselves for better dating success in Colombia like the other ones might.
However, if you have any critique of those articles specifically, let me know! Especially the one on jazz music – I really do enjoy jazz music and would appreciate it if someone gave me more insight on the jazz scene in Colombia.
Jenny: apart better that neither you nor any Gringo go to Colombia to look for women, they only seek and insentivate prostitution and drugs!
Seth: Well, Jenny, as I wrote about in this article here, not everyone doing drugs or prostitutes in Colombia are gringos. Here’s an issue I often encounter in Colombia Jenny: quite often, Colombians might tell you that they do not engage in any vices because they are “Catholics.”
And as we all know, there has never been a single Catholic that has consumed a heavy amount of liquor, done drugs, had casual sex or sought prostitution.
After all, it is only those pesky gringos that engage in such vices!
…..Or is that really the case?
Let’s look at some facts on this manner.
- According to El Tiempo, Colombia shares for first place with Argentina in Latin America when it comes to alcoholism among students (source).
- According to the source above, 84.4% of Colombian drug users have tried marijuana at least once with cocaine being the second most popular drug among Colombian drug users (source).
- According to this article, 2.8% of surveyed Colombian youth used cocaine while 4.98% was reported for American adults aged 18-25.
- For more detailed info on drug use in Colombia, check out this report here. It’s a fairly detailed report on the different types of drugs consumed by Colombians and the different rates of use by each drug.
- According to a report by Expat Chronicles, 59.2% of Colombian women have cheated at least once and 40.8% of Colombian women have never cheated (source).
- Based on the last article, 66% of Colombian men and women have admitted to cheating with Colombia being the country that has the highest recorded rate of infidelity in Latin America (source).
- There are higher rates of trio and group sex in Colombia than Latin America more broadly (source).
- According to El Tiempo, 39% of Colombians have had sex with someone 10 years older (source).
- At least 22% of Colombians surveyed admitted to having sexual relations with strangers (source).
- Though it was impossible to find out how many Colombian men pursue prostitutes, we do know that there are about 23,000 prostitutes in Bogota according to this source. And the issue of prostitution has been getting worse apparently as more Venezuelan women have been escaping into Colombia and working as sex workers according to this article.
So suffice to say, this stereotype that it is only the gringos that are corrupting Colombia is a bit misleading obviously as Colombians are not really much different.
Just like the people of any country, you will have those that consume drugs, engage in casual sex, be unfaithful to their partner or engage in prostitution.
The issue here is, as written about in greater detail in this article, is that Jenny is illustrating some degree of xenophobia in my opinion.
Because in Colombia, you have your folks that reiterate this same narrative that the gringos are corrupting Colombia and that there is nothing about Colombian society that encourages casual sex, drugs, prostitution and infidelity.
Which, to be fair, Jenny did not say in her email that there is nothing wrong with Colombian society.
But in my time dealing with Colombians, many of them will be honest about the situation. And then there are some like Jenny who give out the sentiment that some other group like the gringos are to blame.
That type of sentiment anyway is much stronger in a place like Medellin where you do have more sex tourism for sure.
It’s a bit ironic in a way because the Colombian government has taken measures to try and paint its own country as less R rated and has shown distaste for foreigners writing about the more promiscuous world of Colombia with all its vices.
And of course, Colombians themselves obviously find it distasteful when such images of Colombia are painted.
Not only because they want to go beyond the stereotypical image of Colombia being some cocaine paradise.
But also because, as I wrote about in this article, there are certain groups of people in Colombia that dislike the idea of foreign men coming to sleep with Colombian women.
You have women of course that dislike it for various reasons – one of which being that distaste for the idea promoted by foreigners that Colombian women are all very easy in bed.
Which, to a degree, you can find that same concern in the email by Jenny.
And you have local men who dislike it when foreign men increase the competition for them to get laid locally.
But despite all the concern you have by these groups, here’s the facts…
As said previously on this website, you won’t stop any of the foreigners coming to Colombia for a good time unless you change Colombia.
Because let’s be honest. Foreigners can also get laid in places like Bolivia or Argentina.
But why don’t as many foreigners go to those places and why do they choose countries like Colombia, Brazil, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, etc?
Well, Mexico because it is right next to the US obviously so that is convenient.
But countries like Colombia, Brazil or the Dominican Republic? What do those countries have in common?
Obviously not language because Brazilian people speaks Portuguese.
The thing those countries have in common is that they generally speaking have women that are more fun sexually and also have better bodies all around.
So let’s compare that to Bolivia and Argentina.
Where in Bolivia, I have never heard a single foreigner say that Bolivian women are sexy. I am sure there are some sexy women there as I have met some. Well, a few…
But compared to Colombia, it’s no contest.
And then you have Argentina, which most people agree has some cute and attractive women but they are known for being harder to sleep with.
Generally speaking, they are not going to be as sexually fun as Colombian or Brazilian women.
So why bother going there if that is what you are looking for as a foreign man?
So if Colombia wants to limit the amount of foreign men going to Colombia for a more promiscuous adventure, then it needs to address the following:
- Encourage the local women to be less sexually easy and fun by changing the local culture somehow.
- Make the local women uglier somehow.
And maybe address that it is not mostly gringos who are engaging in casual sex and doing drugs in Colombia.
Because let’s look at these facts too. According to the following article by Colombia Reports, here are the visitor facts to Colombia in 2018
- 3,104,606 foreign visitors to Colombia in 2018
- 25.1% of those were American while 54.1% were from Latin America and Spain.
And as said before in this article here, in my experience in Colombia, I have seen plenty of other Latinos from other Latin American countries engaging in similar activities and doing drugs in Colombia also.
It seems to be then that this criticism probably does come with certain xenophobia towards gringos because the attention is never focused on local Colombians engaging in a wilder lifestyle nor against Latinos from other Latin American countries.
Perhaps because focusing on the fact that local Colombians arguably engage in these activities more than gringos do in Colombia would make Colombians like Jenny take a stronger look in the mirror.
Or because the fact that Latinos from Latin American countries also pursue this lifestyle here doesn’t fit well with the stereotypical narrative that some folks have about gringos.
That we are this marauding white villain looking to “steal your women” and consume all the drugs!
When in reality, plenty of Colombians engage in those same vices as well with casual sex and drugs.
And as I pointed out in this article, there ultimately isn’t much wrong with people wanting to engage in casual sex anyway.
After all, we are all grown adults. How is it your business if a Gringo and a Colombian chick hookup?
Maybe she wants some of his gasolina, who knows….
But if you want more of my thoughts on that matter, then check out the original article I wrote here that might have inspired this email to be sent my way.
Oh wait….
We still have to finish reading that!
Jenny: so naive and believe that because you are from the US, everyone will love and love you for how beautiful you are.
Seth: Now I promise I won’t give you a monologue on this last sentence. Easy to refute! If Jenny were to read my other articles, she would see that I do not promote such thinking. In fact, such as in this article, I make it quite clear to my readers that foreigners should not come to Colombia thinking that being a gringo will get them some of that Colombian pussy.
That, as I emphasized before, it is critical to focus on self-improvement if you want the best chance of women in any country. Even though there is a slight exotic factor to being a gringo in Colombia (in some parts more than others), that in of itself will not get you laid. And so I agree with the sentiment that Jenny offers in the last sentence of her email!
A Summary of Our Main Arguments
Given that this is my first (and only!) negative email I have ever gotten on this website, I am quite pleased with it.
Because there are other blogs out there that focus on dating abroad and they also get negative feedback from what I have seen.
Such feedback usually revolves around making insults than anything constructive.
And while Jenny’s email was not as constructive as it could have been, I appreciate the email she sent my way nonetheless.
From my perspective, there are essentially 5 main criticisms that you could pull from Jenny’s email (or the sentiment of it):
- That my content makes too many generalizations with a bias towards making all Colombian women seem like they are from Medellin.
- Gringos should not think that being from the US will get them laid or treated well in Colombia.
- Looking for love (especially with the help of an agency) in Colombia is bad.
- Gringos are the main customers for drugs and prostitution in Colombia.
- That men should not focus so much on the physical looks of Colombian women and/or enjoy pursuing sex with them.
And if I was to provide a basic TLDR of my main response to those 5 points and cut out the sarcasm in this article…
- That there are generalizations made at times but that is to help paint a broader picture of certain facts about living and dating in Colombia. But that my content often makes plenty of distinctions all the time between Colombian women between different regions and cities.
- I absolutely agree and gringos should focus on self-improvement to have dating success in Colombia or anywhere else.
- Looking for love (through an agency or not) is not bad for men or women. Plenty of people do it and find happiness doing that.
- In Colombia specifically, gringos are by far not the only type of people pursuing drugs and sex in Colombia. By sheer numbers alone, there are definitely more local Colombians and neighboring Latinos that pursue that lifestyle in Colombia also.
- There is nothing wrong with just pursuing sex with a woman with no plans for commitment. But men should be mindful of other characteristics beyond looks of a woman if they are not just looking for sex.
And that point drives us back to the central argument of the original article here that likely inspired this email.
That there is nothing wrong with gringos (or Latinos or Colombians) pursuing casual sex anywhere in the planet.
That ultimately what you do with your own body is your own choice when it comes to the lifestyle that you pursue.
Because at the end of the day, who is to judge if someone decides to sleep around — man or woman.
Or if someone wants to consume drugs. Not encouraging it but it is your body.
And if neither of those things interest you and you want to find love and a happier life abroad in another country like Colombia — also cool. Your life, your choices.
Because from what I have seen, there are plenty of men (and women) that have found enjoyment living abroad while engaging in a more promiscuous life or one with someone special.
And those are my two cents anyway.
And if you have any questions or insight of your own, let me know in the comment section below or send me an email.
Look forward to hearing from any of you.
Hasta luego parceros,
Seth
Join the Newsletter to discover the best cities to date sexy Colombian women!
__CONFIG_colors_palette__{“active_palette”:0,”config”:{“colors”:{“cf6ff”:{“name”:”Main Color”,”parent”:-1},”73c8d”:{“name”:”Dark Accent”,”parent”:”cf6ff”}},”gradients”:[]},”palettes”:[{“name”:”Default”,”value”:{“colors”:{“cf6ff”:{“val”:”rgb(140, 0, 0)”,”hsl”:{“h”:0,”s”:0.99,”l”:0.27}},”73c8d”:{“val”:”rgb(85, 4, 2)”,”hsl_parent_dependency”:{“h”:1,”l”:0.17,”s”:0.95}}},”gradients”:[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__ Sign Up & Date Sexy Colombian Women!
Related Posts
Cost of Living in Colombia