Story 1: Bribing Colombian Cops

Have you ever wanted to live a more exciting life where chasing pussy involves bribing cops?

Well, this article is for you!

In the last few articles, I have mostly written about the different cities you can meet sexy Colombian women.

In addition, I don’t keep it a secret that this country is also very beautiful…

With amazing beaches, mountains and more to visit.

However, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows in this country.

As you all obviously know, Colombia is not the safest country in the world.

Yes, it has drugs, violence and corruption.

A bit more than many other countries out there.

So before visiting Colombia to enjoy your time with the sexy Colombian women, you need prepare well for your trip.

Over the years living in Colombia, I have kept notes on my entire life down here.

Ever since the first day I stepped foot in Colombia to study abroad in Barranquilla until now.

With these notes, there are plenty of stories that will be told here on this website.

Therefore, this article will be the first of many providing real stories about living in Colombia

In order to give you insight into what life is actually like in Colombia

And also give tips on how to handle certain situations.

Barranquilla

Enjoy

Inspired by my time studying abroad in Barranquilla, I returned to live in Colombia again.

Starting in 2008.

In my first year, things went smoothly for the most part.

I never encountered any problems that threatened my safety during most of the year.

Until November 12, 2008 where I got robbed by the police in Colombia for the first time ever.

This article you are reading now used to be about that but I figured I would update it with a more recent example.

March 27, 2018

By this point, I had been living more formally in Bogota but happened to be in another Colombian city known as Cucuta.

I walked out of the place I was staying at in Cucuta as I was headed over to see some chick I met on Tinder.

Her name was Alma.

I think she was technically from Mexico if I remember right but happened to also have Colombian citizenship. 

Anyway, I walked outside of the place I was staying at and kept on walking.

Past some mini plaza looking area that looked like it had some shopping mall with it.

And, as I am not as familiar with Cucuta as I am with other Colombian cities, I ended up getting lost.

I was supposed to meet Alma at another shopping mall area as I always recommend to others to start dates at shopping malls in Colombia.

They tend to make great starting points before taking her elsewhere back to your place or maybe a bar or a park first.

Anyway, I got lost and ended up walking into some shitty looking neighborhood. 

The second I walked into this area, I noticed some cop car way ahead on the same street. 

But nothing happened just yet as I kept walking closer in the direction of where it was.

It was a fairly empty street with a few stores open and that was it.

Not too many people outside either.

Probably because it looked like it was about to rain I suppose with some very dark clouds in the sky.

Anyway, I kept walking along and ended up passing the cop car that I mentioned before. 

It was only then about a few minutes later when the cop car chased up after me oddly enough.

I didn’t even notice the car coming up from behind me as it was parked anyway where it was when I past it.

But then I started getting the attention of this random cop guy wanting to speak with me.

This cop anyway happened to be the only one in the vehicle with no other cops with him.

Based on my memory, he looked like the following:
  • In police uniform (obviously)
  • Light brown skin (almost white).
  • Some cop hat on or something so I wasn’t able to see what his hair looked like but I guess it would’ve been black like most people down here.
  • About my height.
  • Looked like a fairly young guy who probably was younger than me (meaning somewhere in his 20s).

The guy steps out of his vehicle and wants to talk with me.

He starts by saying how there was a reported theft in the area of someone stealing a phone in a nearby small electronics store.

To which he then says he has the right to search me as he says that I “look like the description of the thief.”

Which is obviously false given I just walked out of my apartment.

And I didn’t steal anything.

Anyway, he searches me and finds a small burner phone on my person.

From his face, he looked disappointed that I had some cheap ass phone worth no more than 25 bucks.

I always have nowadays cheap burner phones on person instead of carrying my nicer phone from the US (which I leave at home).

Either way, the cop goes along with it after seeing he can’t steal a nice phone from the gringo.

But probably assumes he can at least get a bribe out of me with the accusation I stole something.

The gringo has to have some money on him at least, right?

He opens his door and tells me to get inside.

At first I was hesitant to get in and demanded to see some ID.

By his face, he was taken aback by being asked for ID.

Either way, he shows it.

And as far as I’m aware, it looks legit enough.

So perhaps in a dumb way, I agree to get in his van like I have before with one other time a cop stole from me.

The guy gets in as well and basically drives me around.

Bribing Colombian Cops

During the time, he asks me a million questions
  •                 Where is my ID?
  •                 Name?
  •                 What am I doing here?
  •                 Where am I going?
  •                 Do I have family here? 

He then gets to the point.

According to him, there is apparently some 500 dollar fine (in pesos) for stealing a phone.

In the moment, I knew he just wanted a bribe by threatening to take me to jail based on accusing me of crime I didn’t do.

From what I have been told, cops in Colombia do not get paid the best

And some of them will pick people on the street to harass for a fine.

And I’ve seen this before anyway.

Welcome to Colombia.

Anyway, I was obviously a little bit nervous.

Even though I knew the game the guy was playing — to get a bribe.

So I tell him the usual – I don’t got his money.

He then tells me “money or 24 to 48 hour jail time.”

Bribing Colombian Cops

Then we basically go back and forth between these 2 lines.

From my limited experience in Colombia, I also knew that sometimes people down here view foreigners are rich or, in my words, walking ATM machines.

That’s one reality you will have to accept

In that a lot of people down here, cops too, may think we just have endless money to give away.

So I tell him that too – that sure I’m American but that doesn’t mean I am a millionaire.

I felt the guy was more sympathetic after that

And after reminding him that I am young….

And obviously I don’t have lots of money to give.

So after a while, the guy cuts the BS and gets to what he really wants.

A bribe.

He doesn’t say “give me a bribe”

Just says “there’s another way to handle this.”

Which, in hindsight, is what I should have suggested in the moment.

Reminding the guy that you don’t carry millions of dollars in your pockets like he may think you do

And asking “is there another way to handle this?”

But anyway, he brings it up himself.

Says that if I offer him some money, I’m free to go.

Well…ok

So how much?

At first, the guy thought he was being nice to me – saying 100 bucks (in pesos) will cover it.

After all, that’s a fifth of what the fine is!

However, keep in mind most Colombians will be offering maybe 5 to 10 bucks for this type of bribe.

A bribe for something that the cop says you did but obviously didn’t do

At least according to some of my friends who also have experience bribing Colombian cops.

5 to 10 bucks works well enough.

But I didn’t know that in the moment.

And I offered him all the money I had in my pockets.

Which, keep in mind, can be a good strategy if you don’t have much in your pockets to begin with.

I never carry much on me normally anyway. Not much more than 25 bucks at most usually.

So if you do something like that and show him that is all you have…

Then it helps set a ceiling in his head as to much money he can steal from you. 

So he sees that I only have on me 15 bucks more or less in pesos and accepts the offer.

If the police officer thinks that is all you got on person

Then it is unlikely he will continue negotiating.

Knowing he can’t squeeze anymore out of you.

Which is why you should know 2 things:
  • Always carry little money on you. It’s not just criminals that rob you. The police do also.
  • Though in my experience, I guess sometimes there’s little difference between the two in Colombia.
  • Hide money in different areas on you. For example, get a good travel pouch or a money belt

Bribing Colombian Cops

On the first point, you won’t need much money on you on a daily basis.

Colombia is fairly cheap compared to the US.

Especially with the dominant dollar that does well in exchange rates.

I’d recommend not having more than 50 bucks on you for most occasions.

And even then, that’s still a bit too much.

Unless you are going out drinking, buying groceries, etc.

You won’t need 50 bucks.

Instead, 20 to 30 bucks is more than fine.

In addition, it limits how much can be stolen from you by cops or criminals.

So anyway, the guy says 15 bucks works and takes the money.

And obviously he was happy about it.

Because that’s still more money than the average local would pay anyway for something like this.

He takes the money and lets me out.

Tells me, ironically, to stay safe.

Oh yeah, after just getting robbed by someone whose job it is to protect us…

I need to stay safe.

I just didn’t know very well until that point that some of the people I need to stay safe from are some of the cops in Colombia.

Point understood.

Either way, the guy happened to drop me off in an area that was close to the shopping mall that I was going to anyway.

So, I guess he helped me find the place I was going to.

A very expensive and inconvenient uber driver then huh?

I then walk to the mall where Alma is waiting for me.

I tell her the story, we talk about it and we move on.

Either way, a very eye opening experience to be sure.

So……

What are some lessons to be learned from this?
  • The money lessons mentioned previously.
  • That corruption is strong in Colombia and some of the cops are not safe to interact with.
  • Knowing Spanish is crucial – I would have lost more money if I could not have negotiated my side of the issue.

Overall, hopefully this story will give you readers some insight into life in Colombia

And also how to better protect yourselves from situations like this where you are bribing Colombian cops.

If you are ever planning on having fun with some sexy Colombian women, you need to know how to protect yourself in Colombia.

Hasta luego parceros,

Seth

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